Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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