i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
