I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
mondays should just be called national damage control day
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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