You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
