therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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