i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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