i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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