Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
