i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
