i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
