Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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