I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
