its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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