You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize