I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
