Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Randomize
