i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
