covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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