I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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