yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
