whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
