hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize