i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
