I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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