oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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