My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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