I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
