Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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