you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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