don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
