god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
