If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Mom said you looked used
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
