i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
