Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
