Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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