Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
