No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
