I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
