We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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