I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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