I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
