I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
