you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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