exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
