party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize