he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pants are for mortals
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
