I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
