i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
