how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
