member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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