I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
