did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
