Dual....:-)
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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