So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize