at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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