Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
