Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
