no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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