if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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