Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
